10 reasons why I love being a second-time mom
So, we are now 60 days in, as a household with two kids. And even though I was one of those mothers who had vowed to have only one child (Hello words spoken by younger self, you taste great), I have found that life with two children is rather wonderful. As older mothers say, one of the greatest parts of having a second child is watching the manner in which your children interact and bond. And that is true. But for me there are ten other reasons why I love being a second-time mom. And here they are in no particular order.
1. I already know how to fall asleep in upright position or sitting, while holding a newborn. This being a skill that I mastered with much difficulty with my daughter, it is a skill that has no value outside motherhood and would have gone waste.
2. My body knows how to go from zero to maximum in 3 seconds while woken up at any point in time. The first time around being waken up at ungodly hours was literally a rude awakening to the "joys" of parenting. This time, there is only grim resignation. But it is also bitter-sweet as I know that the middle of the night wake-up calls will not go on forever and that they do stop. 3. I already have a handle on the kind of parent I am. This is probably why I feel like I will actually remember the first three months of my son as opposed to my daughter's first three months that are a red blur. The first time around I was busy figuring out whether I was an attachment parent or whether I should listen to those who advised me to let her 'cry it out'. Would I be an exclusive breastfeeder who would feed till the age of two or would I switch to the bottle? Decisions and so many of them. This time I have my path charted out. Of course, the journey won't be the same but at least there is a map that I can refer to. 4. I can already do everything with one hand. Literally. Of course, now that I know the power of baby wearing, I do have two hands free. But with an exuberant four year old in the house, it is nice to know that I can do literally anything with just one hand. 5. I know that those expensive booties will not be worn more than once, if that! Of course this will not always prevent me from buying them, but at least I know that I just need one pair to indulge my craving rather than in every colour.
6. I am not intimidated by a stench of any kind. Or any colour. You already know what I am talking about. So, let's move on. 7. I know that it is ok to take a minute more to wash that shampoo out of my hair, before attending to those earth shattering tears. Otherwise it will take more than a few hours to get back to it. The days of me busting out of the bathroom dripping wet, soap suds in my hair, to attend to what sounded like a velociraptor shrieking are now far and few in between. This is also because I have mastered the art of the two minute shower. And as hair is something to be twisted into a bun, there is no real need to wash it, is there?
8. I know that even the worst moment will pass- no matter how bleak it seems. This is part-philosophy and part-prayer from experience. And something that I have anchored my parenting on. If I don't wait for the light on the other side of the tunnel, who will? 9. I know that checking out for a few moments every day to focus on me is not selfish and is necessary. As a first time mother, I used to think of every moment spent away from my daughter as the heights of selfishness. It was only after she started going to school that I realized that I could and should have me-time. My me-time includes a couple of hours a day for writing and working out. This is just for me and when I get to have it, I am a much happier person and definitely a better mother. 10. And finally, I know that the days are long but the years are truly short and that I really need to cherish every moment of it - be it crappy or happy. What about you? What do you love about being a second time mother? Let me know in the comments here or on the Times of Amma Facebook page.