To a Mother like Younger Sister
Editor's Note: As most regular readers of the Times of Amma know, the month of May is when we celebrate our mothers with guest posts from readers and friends on one of the most special women in their lives. This May though, we focus on Mothers of a different kind - this May is about celebrating those who nurtured and nourished us without really being our mothers. This month we celebrate the Mother Figures in our life.
In this edition, Deepa pens a letter to her younger sister who has been more than a mother to her and her daughter.
As long as I can remember, we have always been at logger-heads, pulling ,pushing, scratching, biting and dancing around like monkeys to get the most attention. But as we grew up, so did our relationship. From pretending not to know each other in school, to gradually a courtesy 'hi', from not sharing clothes to laughing like random idiots in public, we have come a long way. You helped me overcome my first heartbreak in college. Until then I never confided in you, but you tried to help me at my worst. You were there with me in all the stages of my life, from broken hearted teenager to pregnant and now a mother, we have overcome our egos (which still exists now and then) , and are best friends.
I still remember the day I yelled at you during my pregnancy and you slept without eating that day and you cried. You left the next day and I found a letter written on my bed. I am sorry.
You have taken care of me and my little one, from feeling her kicks to pressing my legs, you have been more than a mother to me. You wiped her poop before I did. You massaged her without any fear, you played with her when I was exhausted and you were a mother to her when I failed at times.
The endless lullabies you have sung, the times you stayed awake to help me when we fell sick, you were my go-to person for everything. And my daughter loves you. I can see it in her eyes and I can see it when she jumps around with joy seeing you. She misses not being with you. Even though I am the first daughter, you have taken care of mom and dad , through the worst of our times, sickness , you have stayed strong for all of us.
The day when you stood up for a girl in the bus who was being assaulted, even though she did not, I looked up to you. Your energy levels and laughter are infectious. No matter what I do , nothing can repay my debt to you. You gave up your career to help dad in business and that kind of sacrifice is what even I think of doing. You have your dreams , your ambitions which are all on hold and yet your smile and the twinkle in your eye never fades. No matter what, we can never return the time passed and you are sacrificing every bit for us.
Kokila ( I know you hate being called that but I will always irritate you with that one), I want you to know, as I do that one day you will be a great mother. The way you have brought my child up, been with her , she has two mothers. If God forbid something happens to me, will you take care of her? What I really want to say is Thank you. Thank you from me and my daughter. The five minutes of video call we get today are my cherished moments . I Miss you. A girl can never ask for a better sister. And no matter what I do, nothing can repay your sacrifice.
I still remember the expression you had when you felt my daughter move. You were amazed and scared and felt all kinds of squishy and gooey, all at once. We live in different cities, and yet I have never felt more connected. You have never asked for anything in return, and you readily give up everything you like to make us happy. Your goofiness and craziness at times is what breaks the ice and brings our smile back on. If I strive everyday to be a better person, a better mom, a better human, it is because I had you as my inspiration. That never ending love and giving everything up with not a hint of sadness and you never give away your emotions. But even the strongest trees need help sometimes. It hurts me to know that sometimes when you need me I am not there to hug you and motivate you. And now, you are struggling to move into your next phase in life. And I have not been a great example either. But if I know you, wherever you go, that is where heaven is. That is where our heart will be. We love you.
You can read and see more from Deepa via her Instagram accounts here and here. Stay tuned to the Times of Amma on Facebook and Instagram for more stories on Motherhood, Mother-figures and the different versions of a Mother's love.
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